Agent²

Margo Olaffson represents a new type of pre-agency, Agent², that promises to help authors target agents. While agents submit an author’s book manuscript to publishers, pre-agents use their in-depth knowledge of agents (and their agencies) to submit to them query letters. Where the agent represents the author’s manuscript, the pre-agent represents the author’s query letter. The pre-agent will also assist in any contract negotiations with agents. Their goal is to bring a new level of representation to authors.

What do you do that’s different from what an agent does?

Well, first of all, we don’t represent novels. We represent queries. Now that agents are joining publishers in only accepting solicited queries, authors are going to need us—pre-agents—to submit queries to agents. Our job is to get you the agent who will get you the publisher who will buy you the bestseller placement your book deserves. And to get there, it all starts with the perfect query. You can pay for query writing workshops and seminars and there are many of them, or you can work with Agent², enjoying a lifelong partnership submitting queries to agents.

And what about comparables or comp titles?

Comparables are as important as queries. They’re a part of your elevator pitch and they have to be perfect. As agents will tell you: The comp must be perfect, no comp is better than a poor comp. Comps are a shorthand that tells the agent where your book belongs on the shelf.

Don’t genre and last name dictate where books go on the shelves?

Think of it as the shelf in the reader’s mind—their “favorite books” bookshelf. You want your book to be just like the books that are already there. That tells both agents and publishers that you know what your job is.

Shouldn’t an agent base their decision on the author’s manuscript?

There is a reason we represent queries, not manuscripts; and why we’re convinced that authors need Agent². Think of yourself as a salesman. The query is you, your business card and your foot in the door. Your novel is a vacuum cleaner. Do you know that authors spend thousands of dollars every year attending courses and seminars on queries? Do you know that some authors spend two months just researching comp titles? Maybe they could have written a collection of stories, a play, a new book of poetry, or even another novel. They could have, but we believe that’s not the best way to prioritize an author’s time and talent. Just think what you—the author—could accomplish by writing the perfect query. We think you should be writing queries because ultimately, you’re not selling your vacuum cleaner, you’re selling yourself. Your agent and publisher are a part of your team; and if you’re not thinking of their success, then you’re not think of the team’s success.

Your agency represents queries, but do you have advice as regards novels?

Look, before beginning a novel, every author should be asking themselves: What novel do I want my novel to be like? What novel am I going to compare my novel to? Readers are looking for the next book that’s just like the one they’ve read. The author’s responsibility is to demonstrate their knowledge of that market. No agent or publisher wants a book that readers haven’t read before. As part of your relationship with us, we will help you identify who you are writing like, what characters, plots and themes you have borrowed and which books, in general, you have imitated. If we can’t find those elements in your writing, then that’s a problem area we can address. Just as we can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good, we can’t let originality be the enemy of the marketable.

But what if the author is writing an original book?

As I say, this is just one of many obstacles our partners will work with you to overcome. Look, when you go to the bookstore, on what shelf does Barnes & Noble shelve the “original book” genre? Where do you shelve originality? It’s simple: If nobody has read your book before, who is going to read it again? But really, there’s no such thing as originality. Or let me put it this way, there’s nothing wrong with being original so long as your book is recognizably like other original books in the same genre and on the same shelf. It’s our motto: We don’t believe in originality; we believe in success.™

Why is your company named Agent²?

We multiply the power of an agent by two.

I notice a lot of agents and publishers are very interested in knowing whether an author already has an online presence and following.

Publishers are a business. We might be selling a vacuum, but we cultivate the salesman. The most successful authors come to publishers pre-monetized. These are authors who come, for example, with an established online presence and audience. If you are that author, then with your audience, our pre-agent 15% cut, the agent’s 15% cut, and the publisher’s 88% cut, the sky’s the limit. We are ready to partner with you.

So, it sounds like the most desirable authors are those who don’t need you?

Every agent wants the author who will be the perfect fit. If you can sell yourself, if you can represent yourself, if you can market yourself and successfully publish yourself, then, for us, our success is your success.

So can you explain what services your agency provides authors?

Absolutely. Thank you for asking. We have comprehensively researched agents, what authors they’re working with, what genres they prefer and, most importantly, the kinds of queries they have accepted. Query us with the first 30 words of your query, a synopsis of your query, and query-comparables. Knowing what queries your queries compare to is part of your elevator pitch and helps us readily identify which agent’s bookshelf we should be targeting. It has to be perfect. No pre-comp is better than a poor pre-comp. For that reason we strongly suggest you consider one of our seminars in pre-query queries—$79.99 for a ten day course, all inclusive. This will include group question and answer sessions along with one on one coaching. Our partners will clarify, according to our research, what fonts you should use, what kerning, line spacing and margin widths. The deluxe package will break down recommendations on a per agent basis. Remember, if you don’t know what your agent prefers in their query—teak floors or Persian carpets, displays of rare books or Chardonnay, the sauna or the hot tub, Venetian blinds or French drapes—you’re never going to sell them your vacuum cleaner. Once we’ve agreed to represent your query, we will research what comparables your comparables are comparable to, resolve problem areas, and submit your bespoke queries to targeted agents deemed to be the best fit. Lastly, we will help you to negotiate any contract with the agent of your choice. We represent you.

Is there anything else you want to add?

Yes, thank you. Not only do I think that you, Patrick, would benefit from our services, but we would love to offer you a discount on an upcoming seminar. As part of this interview, you were kind enough to share with us your own queries. Based on what we’ve read, we are confident that we can triumphantly turn around your record of unremitting failure. We’ve identified numerous shortcomings in your queries, would love to discuss them with you and potentially represent your queries. Regardless of your novels, we think your queries deserve a chance. Every author deserves a pre-agent to find the right agent.

up in Vermont | April 1 2024

Is it me?

Be honest.

I just received my first rejection for 2022. The agent, who I really thought would click with my novel (and had specifically requested magical realism) wrote that she just didn’t feel the “spark”. That made me feel like a konmari’d pair of socks. But didn’t I used to spark joy? Did I not kiss your feet?—yours and only yours? Does that mean nothing? To be fair, her rejection letter was one of the loveliest I’ve gotten.

In the meantime, I’m back on the official Manuscript Wish List and #MSL website. I ran across this on Twitter: “Okay, so about 70 percent of the editors at this speed meeting event want magical realism. ME TOO. Where is it?? #MSWL“.

Hello? I have two ready-to-be-published Magical Realist novels. Two. And they’re good novels. Where are you? Are we two ships passing in the night? Am I hanging out with the 30 percent who run around in bare feet? Am I wool? Am I hole in your heel? Are my toes blown out? Oh wait, I’m just noticing that the agent who wrote this isn’t accepting unsolicited manuscripts. Well. That explains it. Where is it? asks the agent who isn’t accepting manuscripts from authors like me.

Just sayin’.

And have I mentioned how finding an agent is like online dating? We go into this thinking we’re irresistible—who wouldn’t love us?—until we see ourselves the way everybody else sees us.

[Image of fool upper right-hand side: Self-Portrait]

A writer’s life.

So for those of you who dream of writing a novel or of publishing an already written novel, here are my experiences so far.

On the 1st of January, 2021, I completed my novel.

When I first researched novel word counts, I read that most novels were considered to be true novels at around 100,000 words, and so that’s what I aimed for. I’m lucky to have a pretty good feel for narrative and word count while writing. My actual novel came to just under 109,000 words. I thought I did well. Then I discovered other sites, like Writer’s Digest’s Word Count for Novels and Children’s Books: The Definitive Post. There I discovered that an ideal novel length is between 79,999 to 89,999 words. A novel between 89,999 to 99,999 words is “generally good”. Novels between 100,000 to 109,999 might be “too long”.

Damn it.

Now I’m straddled with a novel that might be too long. I might be able to cut down the novel but everything is tied together in such a way that it’s not simply a matter of removing blocks of text. It’s more like a game of Jenga where every block leaves a hole and the whole is more likely to collapse as a result. The undertaking would not be minor and the novel would inevitably lose some of its richness.

So, we’ll see; but that might already be a strike against me.

I submitted my novel to agents starting in the first week of January. I’ve heard back from none of them. I submitted to a second round of agents in March and they’ve also chosen to pass me over (or that’s my best guess). Just today, and for the entire day, I started a third round of submissions. I think I’ve done a much better job writing a query letter and synopsis. Once again I consulted Writer’s Digest based on the recommendations of another agent’s site—How to Write Successful Queries for Any Genre of Writing.

I also submitted the novel to a Hybrid Publisher in Austen, Texas (Greenleaf) and one in Montpelier, Vermont (Rootstock). I didn’t expect to be accepted by Greenleaf. They seem primarily geared toward easy money makers—self-help and ten step books. Among the questions Greenlead asked in their submission form was a multiple choice question asking if I’d like to spend anywhere from $5000+ to a $100,000+ on the publication of my own book. My first thought was: If I had a $100,000 to spend on a book, I sure as hell wouldn’t need to be a writer. My second thought was: I think I’ll choose the $5000+, tight-as-the-god-damn-bark-on-a-tree, Vermonter option. Just last week they politely declined my novel. I’m still waiting to hear from Rootstock.

To be honest, I’m not sure I see the difference between a hybrid publisher and a vanity press. As far as I can tell the only difference is that a hybrid publisher is selective in their choice of authors. But so what. Unless a Hybrid Publisher has skin in the game, then it’s hard for me to see what incentive they have to market a book they haven’t paid for. The investment is entirely the author’s. Conversely, it’s in a traditional publisher’s interest to market your book. They’ve presumably given you an advance, even if a small one, and have spent as much (if not more) money getting your book edited and in print. Whereas a hybrid publisher may offer you upwards of 65% on royalty (because it was your money that paid for the book after all), 65% on a book that isn’t marketed or sold is less than 6% of a book that has the marketing power of a major publisher behind it.

So there’s that.

But I have more to learn about Hybrid Publishing and if Rootstock offers to take up my novel, I’ll have a list of questions ready to go.

I’m already thinking about my next novel. I have some ideas but nothing settled. A novel between 79,000 to 89000 words seems like child’s play after writing 109,000 (which publishers apparently consider a thousand short of War & Peace) and I can write 10,000 words on a good day (and upwards of 10 on a bad day). I’ve read that publishers are less interested in the novel they buy than the novel you haven’t written. The thinking goes like this: If you’re a debut novelist, then your first novel is the ice-breaker. Your first novel makes your name but rarely makes the NYTimes best seller list. It’s the next novel that’s the potential money maker (after the marketplace has been primed). On the other hand, if you’re first novel is a best seller, then they’ve already locked you into a follow-up. So, in a sense, what agents and publishers are really interested in is your nonexistent second book.

So, note to self, get started.

Also, I see all kinds of references to publications that list agents, like this one—the Guide to Literary Agents 2020. And yet, in all the reviews, I invariably read that a significant portion of the information is obsolete and/or out of date. I’ve been searching for agents online and so far I’ve found online listings to be far more reliable and current (for obvious reasons). With age, I’ve grown skeptical and suspicious of any individual or group trying to make money off writers who are trying to find publishers—including publishers like Writer’s Digest (and that’s based on personal experience).

All that said, I remain an abject failure. Even a glorified vanity press has turned me down.

If anything changes I’ll let you know.

upinVermont | May 25th 2021