3 responses

  1. oh, this is lovely. a child absorbed in her activity regardless of the outside world.

    just wondering, though… is”indoors” really necessary? i can easily imagine an indoor scene without it…


  2. //just wondering, though… is”indoors” really necessary?//

    That’s a good question.

    And I considered that. I thought if I left that off, a reader make think I was speaking metaphorically (describing *real* clouds as linen).

    I’m not sure… you think it would still work without it?


  3. you have a point there but… isn’t haiku about “show don’t tell”? and a reader can (and should) be allowed to create their own images and interpretations… there’s nothing exact in haiku as i see it (but of course i may be wrong as i often am) so what if someone would take “linen” metaphorically… it’s a lovely haiku and it works as it is although i would omit “indoors”
    but you are the author and the final say is yours ;)

    (i hope my flow of thought – as that’s what it basically is – isn’t too incoherent. after all, english is my second language)


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