February 10 2009 – Here it is! February 10, 2009 By upinvermont in Gillespie, Patrick, Haiku, Poem, Winter Tags: Dalloway, Gillespie, Patrick, Haiku, midwinter, paper sun, starlight, Winter 5 Comments And my thanks to Dalloway for this beautiful little gift. Share this:TwitterEmailPrintPinterestFacebookTumblrLinkedInRedditLike Loading... Related
This might be a little too wordy for an effective haiku – but I thought I would try it. LikeLike Reply
The middle line does seem longish but it compensates for the two shorter ones.. It works… LikeLike Reply
Thank you Gautami. I’ll visit your site again tonight. I changed the haiku. I think the first version tried too hard – though I liked the sentiment of the first haiku. a winter’s night – her daughter strings a paper sun in the window “here it is!” LikeLike Reply
i love the second version, but yes the sentiment of the first is delightful. you write beautiful haiku. LikeLike Reply
PoemShape 
what a lovely sentiment!
perhaps i should do the same…
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This might be a little too wordy for an effective haiku – but I thought I would try it.
LikeLike
The middle line does seem longish but it compensates for the two shorter ones..
It works…
LikeLike
Thank you Gautami.
I’ll visit your site again tonight.
I changed the haiku. I think the first version tried too hard – though I liked the sentiment of the first haiku.
a winter’s night –
her daughter strings a paper sun in the window
“here it is!”
LikeLike
i love the second version, but yes the sentiment of the first is delightful.
you write beautiful haiku.
LikeLike