she brings to me the frank contagion of an afternoon; the moon’s delirium when the sun, too soon, goes down. I pick the panicles of grass that dart her dress—I love her dress. I love it the color of her hips and love the green odor of the summer’s cuttings at her lips; and I forget myself, I—the smelting of ore into the bone and tissue of an hour—am made, for an hour, more than what I am. she arrives through slow intersections where the riders come and go; she among them, opening her umbrella into snow. she arrives. I take her raincoat and umbrella and where we sit before the window, the windows outside our own show buildings from the inside out; and here and there the men and women like ourselves who gather as we gather, who take wine wineglass, cutting board and bread before the window-lit climes of the city. the streets thrum below us with their ebb and flow. let’s drink to the waves, I say, we can’t see but feel incessantly against the window’s glass; the tide subsiding beneath the mass of steel and concrete façades. don’t ask what savagery or tenderness, what thousand lives have brought her life and mine together. the sands of Troy are clotted by the blood of men, killing and killed for Helen’s beauty— and love. when she’s mine again and the great ships set sail and the fire and feast are done, the snow’s ashes descend on the cars parked and departing. what ruins we leave we never leave behind. the girl, the girl with the many-colored braids replies: love leaves no ruins. she, barefooted, who dances in the scarab’s eye with enameled hair and lips. she leaps over the leaping seas. love leaves no monuments, she says, no cold command or shattered torsos sinking, sinking into the desert sands. a cracked tin pail locked in ice beneath the barn light catches the snow and roundabout the bottom where the tin is welded, rust has rusted through; and were there anyone to pick it up the bottom, where the raindrops drum, would fall into the mud. the girl who dances, dances in rusty pails and with the singing rails of streetcars. some nights the river walks among the signs and storefronts, and smears the watery roads with lampposts; the evergreens with its twisting gray ribbons. some nights walking along the river bank, the waters move in leaden contemplation, darkly indifferent to what reflects. the girl who dances, dances among the shock of willows and her hair is rapturous as the water-witch. love leaves no ruins, she says. love builds no edifice of glass or stone but beats the drum of flesh and bone. let go the finch’s cry, the cry of root and mud; the stench of earthen growth out of the ruinous sludge, and from the soil the berries of the spindle tree, but the berries—colored like the girl’s lips— are poisonous to taste or kiss. do you see the purple shadows drip and pool beneath the yellow birch? She’s dancing in an orange and yellow skirt. she won’t answer where she goes. The rain has turned to snow; the bus pulls out into the afterglow of brakes and headlights. I’ve seen her out among the cattails, dancing in a rusty pail, but don’t believe me. I’ll lie for beauty, I’ll burn the city to the ground; the sands To sheets of glass. I’ll pull the towers down, I’ll throw the pail into the trash—the rusted pail. The snow has turned to ash. the sun’s still not gone down and out the bedroom window is the laundry, the wind billows in the sail of sleeves and lifted backs as though the clothes and bed sheets pulled the world after them into the distant waters—the world’s dark waters that edge a summer’s field with starlight. we are ourselves our passion’s ruins. I say To her, the downspout buckled, maybe tomorrow I’ll replace it. I’ve waited so long to mow that now the tall grass flounders under the heady weight of seed. I stood outside the store, a scarecrow looking in. I saw her standing by the door reading novels in Berlin; but this is how it’s always been. I can’t remember why her lipstick tastes like tin. she liked to sing to Zoltan Kodály and wished I played the violin; but this is how it’s always been. I walked the Spree with her as the city inked her skin; I should remember where we were the day we parted over gin; but this is how it’s always been. as I was saying to her before the iron brawling of a streetcar interrupted us, the yellow streetcar following preordained rails through cobblestone streets; as I was saying: let us be naked side by side. there’s nothing better or as truthful. let us lie together and let us lie. there’s nothing otherwise to make sense of. don’t try. don’t try. Patrick Gillespie | March 17th 2021 Quintet in C