5 responses

  1. I’ve had to deal with mostly practical matters lately yet somehow this haiku incited my first poem in weeks. Thanks!

    Spring

    Sanity
    An earthen way, in some mud between the
    Toes
    Green
    Recovered lives and branches
    Tendril
    Prophets everywhere
    Orgy’s
    Point of view
    Transcendent
    Shad
    Against the spillway’s
    Current
    Bass
    Filleted and fried
    For supper

    Original first three lines:

    Sanity
    An earthen way, in some tractor ruts
    Moonlit

    Like

    • Day 2: I already have a poem or two titled “Spring.” So I changed the title to “May 5”. I also read a couple of poems by Keats and Yeats, came back to it, and felt no diminution of poetic quality. “Delusions of Grandeur”—a better title?

      Like

  2. Thanks. Yes, it’s an image of the emotive moment–like your haiku with the earthly anchor of its tractor ruts. I tried to capture that for myself. But I remain game for longer poems and the challenge of keeping a thought together for 4 or 5 pages as I did in “Compensatory.” But these involve dialogue and a sustained feeling for the subject vs. one lightning strike.

    Like

  3. Btw, which do you think sounds better?

    Orgy’s
    Point of view
    Transcendent

    OR

    Orgy’s
    Point of view
    Resurgent

    Thanks.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: