8 responses

  1. Spontaneously written after reading your latest haiku.

    Summer
    Came, I opened
    Up

    Fall
    Arrived, the dark slipped
    In

    Winter
    Froze to chilblains
    Heart

    Spring
    Smiled once and took my
    Hand

    Alternate final:

    Spring
    Smiled back and took my
    Hand

    Like

  2. Adjusted the sound side and added 2 stanzas for more unity and image. Any better?

    Love Story

    Summer
    Came, I opened
    Up

    Fall
    Arrived, the dark slipped
    In

    Winter
    Froze to chilblains
    Cave

    Spring
    Smiled back, took my
    Hand

    And
    Now we marry every
    Year

    Attended
    By the Sun and
    Green

    Like

  3. Thanks. Yes, the ending is a little happy/dandy/skippy/skippy. But with two previous poems where the guy ends up a frozen corpse, an occasional one like this is permissible I suppose.

    Like

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