14 responses

  1. This one prompted me to read the entire wiki entry on butterflies. Its beauty is the briefest of its stages–on average a month. Hence:

    Beauty
    Of a butterfly and just a month to
    Live

    One
    Egg stuck to a milkweed then off to Adam’s
    Peak

    Ugly
    Caterpillar do do your thing
    Again!

    Like

  2. Meter adjusted:

    Voracious
    Ugly caterpillar do do your thing
    Again!

    Speaking of dragonflies…

    Mating in dragonflies is a complex, precisely choreographed process. First, the male has to attract a female to his territory, continually driving off rival males. When he is ready to mate, he transfers a packet of sperm from his primary genital opening on segment 9, near the end of his abdomen, to his secondary genitalia on segments 2–3, near the base of his abdomen. The male then grasps the female by the head with the claspers at the end of his abdomen; the structure of the claspers varies between species, and may help to prevent interspecific mating.[42] The pair flies in tandem with the male in front, typically perching on a twig or plant stem. The female then curls her abdomen downwards and forwards under her body to pick up the sperm from the male’s secondary genitalia, while the male uses his “tail” claspers to grip the female behind the head: this distinctive posture is called the “heart” or “wheel”;[33][43] the pair may also be described as being “in cop”.[44]

    So, you’re the expert on erotic poetry. Anything sound familiar here?

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  3. I happen to think that dragonfly sex has the potential for a good poem.

    Btw, does this as adjusted rate at least Doggerel Plus?

    The Metamorphosis

    Beauty
    Of a butterfly and just a month to
    Live

    One
    Egg stuck to a milkweed then off to Adam’s
    Peak

    Voracious
    Ugly caterpillar does his thing
    Again

    Like

    • You’ve violated the rules of my Very Brief Art of Haiku. :) Words like “Beauty” and “Ugly” are ultimately abstract and convey nothing about the butterfly or caterpillar. That said, poets use words like these in Haiku ever day. My own preference is for very imagistic haiku. As little abstract as possible.

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  4. thanks. That bit of advice may have given me another one-hit wonder. Reality check?

    The Metamorphosis

    Eye
    Behold a butterfly, lighter than its
    Death

    One
    Egg stuck to a milkweed and off to Adam’s
    Peak

    Chew
    Voracious caterpillar to bring her back to
    Life

    Bloom
    Chrysalis, humbly, our hope of heaven’s
    Wings

    Like

  5. Pingback: The Metamorphosis – Poemways

  6. Thanks. No comments on my site and hardly any traffic at all unless I visit it. Which is just as well, because I’m perfectly comfortable with solitude. Nevertheless, I still like to think I’ve written some of the most perfect short poems in the English language, and I welcome the day you and William Logan confirm that.

    Yes, the Victorian “heaven’s wings” did seem a little posed based on my previous poems, but the only alternative I can think of at the moment is “Bloom / Crysalis, humbly, our hope that she will / stay” Is that better? Or maybe “that bliss will / stay”

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  7. Metamorphosis lite? In this version I tried to compensate for the lost wing in the last stanza by shifting it to the first and lightening it up imagistically by substituting air (concrete) for death (abstraction).

    The Metamorphosis

    Eye
    Behold a butterfly, wings banter to the
    Air

    One
    Egg stuck to a milkweed and off to Adam’s
    Peak

    Chew
    Voracious caterpillar to bring her back to
    Life

    Bloom
    Chrysalis, humbly, our hope that bliss will
    Stay

    Like

  8. Adam’s Peak is known as the place “where butterflies go to die.” But I could achieve a better rhyme with “Adam’s Lair”

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  9. ok. I slept on it and got this.

    The Metamorphosis

    Eye
    Behold a butterfly, wings banter on the
    Air

    One
    Egg stuck to a milkweed and off to Adam’s
    Lair

    Chew
    Voracious caterpillar to bring her back to
    Life

    Bloom
    Chrysalis, humbly, our hope that bliss will
    Stay

    Like

  10. Read it aloud several times tonight and got this. Improvement?

    The Metamorphosis

    Eye
    Behold a butterfly, wings banter with the
    Air

    Egg
    Stuck to a milkweed and off to Adam’s
    Lair

    Chew
    Voracious caterpillar to bring her back to
    Life

    Bloom
    Chrysalis, humbly, our hope that bliss will
    Last

    Like

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