August 24th 2019

‘Methinks thou dost protest too much.’

Another of Shakespeare’s memorable lines, and so I won’t go on about my daughter’s absence, except to say this: I remember reading a book in German when I was a teenager called Der Mann ohne Schatten. I think. It was a 19th century novel about a man who trades his shadow to the devil in return for the devil’s powers. But without his shadow, he’s soon cursed to a life in shadows, darkness and loneliness.

It’s then that I thought that losing ones child to age and time is a bit like loosing ones shadow. Throughout the day I felt like a should be able to turn and see my shadow following me, but that if I did, my shadow would be gone. I may have to find some different light in which to see my children’s shadows anew.

DSC01718I wasn’t able to go about the city during the day, and so I took some pictures during the evening. Unlike my last visits, when I relied on my smart phone to take pictures, I took my camera this time. I’m no photographer and don’t know how to use most of my camera’s features, but it takes much better pictures in the evening.

I thought I’d share some images of Berlin on a warm August night:


And along the Kudamm:


And restaurants full of diners well into the evening:


And I took a couple pictures through the store fronts. The neighborhood that I’m in mostly hosts DSC01739high end stores. They may carry a handful and paintings, or lights, or a couple racks of clothes. It’s a mystery to me how these stores stay open.

Later in the day I heard from my daughter. She made it to Bonn and has moved into her little room. She met the two children for whom she will be Au Pair’ing. One is speaking English to her and the other hasn’t yet spoken.

My daughter writes that she’s already struggling with numbers in German; but she’s set her mind to learning German during her year here, and so I suspect that numbers will seem very easy in a short while.

    in her mother's shadow—the child's

236: August 24th 2019 | bottlecap