18 responses

  1. Doggerel?

    To Angie

    First impressions make
    Last impressions best.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please, please, please
    Think me pervert, mad,
    A racist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love you never lose.

    Like

    • It’s like the reader’s guide, condensed version of a Shakespearean Sonnet. A not too dissimilar sentiment:

      Sonnet CXXI

      ‘Tis better to be vile than vile esteem’d,
      When not to be receives reproach of being,
      And the just pleasure lost which is so deem’d
      Not by our feeling but by others’ seeing:
      For why should others false adulterate eyes
      Give salutation to my sportive blood?
      Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,
      Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
      No, I am that I am, and they that level
      At my abuses reckon up their own:
      I may be straight, though they themselves be bevel;
      By their rank thoughts my deeds must not be shown;
      Unless this general evil they maintain,
      All men are bad, and in their badness reign.

      Like

  2. I compressed the sound sense…more ambiguity… Poor Angie!

    To Angie

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me racist, mad,
    A pervert from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    Like

    • I could be wrong, but I’m thinking this poem might be one of the worst first date poems I’ve ever read. But, you know, I can’t speak for women. As a satirical love poem, on the other hand, it might be a masterpiece. I would only add rapist and psychopath to the list. Imagine her relief. :)

      Like

  3. Thanks. Which one of these sounds better? I’ll go with your choice. I could strike an even lighter note and include both under the title “Two Valentines”?

    To Angie (Gender Studies student)

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me racist, mad,
    A sexist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    For all time
    A love that’s never lost.

    To Angie (Investigation Discovery fan)

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me pervert, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    For all time
    A love that’s never lost.

    Like

  4. thanks!

    To Angie

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me pervert, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    It’s not as good as my previous “Birdsong.” Nevertheless, Sonnet CXXI move over.

    Like

  5. Final touch-up.

    Dear Eve,

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better you think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me pervert, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    Yours,

    Adam

    Like

  6. And now the “literary” version–

    Paradise Found

    Dear Eve,

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better think me fallen
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me sinner, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    Yours,

    Adam

    Like

  7. A “please” 2 many. Give me a Doggerel+ on this one and I’ll let it go.

    Paradise Found

    Dear Eve,

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better think me fallen
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please!
    Think me sinner, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    Yours,

    Adam

    Like

  8. Yes, I like the secular version better too and typically avoid religious and mythic references. But one non-poet listener I shared it with thought I could find more literary subs for “pervert” and “mean,” esp. pervert, which seemed to hang her up a little. So that explains this last reach. From your poet’s perspective is this better:

    To Sarah

    By first impressions
    Last impressions last.
    Better think me mean
    And find me later not
    Than go bitter on a hope
    I later burst.
    So please! please! please!
    Think me pervert, mad,
    A sadist from the start
    And find—surprise!–
    A love that’s never lost.

    The first version of this poem up top that begins this thread took one minute to write. And after several days forgotten, it seems fresher to me than many of these revisions.

    Like

    • Yes. Better. But I still feel sorry for Sarah. There are many bad first impressions but starting off with pervert, sadist and mad as also apt to be the last impression you make on her.

      Like

  9. On the other hand, if she appreciates the satire, a good sign… Better yet, she could be entirely literal minded about it and respond “Just as I thought!” But add, “Now let’s see if I can help you with that.” In either case, What a woman!

    Like

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