November 28th 2015 |November

·

more
····light in clouds than in the sun—
········November

·

·I was reading Buson and Basho for inspiration today. I felt as if a haiku might not come; now almost midnight. I was remembering today—a real November day—the chilly sun and the black trees. There were only glimpses of blue sky above the layers of cloud and when the sun, once or twice, did filter through, it was as cold as none at all.

·

less
····light in the sun than in the clouds—
········November

·

I had gone to bed and was thinking on the art of haiku, the subtle difference between a mediocre haiku and a good one, and it occurred to me to change the emphasis from “more light” to “less light”. The revision also ends the pivot on clouds rather than the sun. I think this second version is much better.  I’m also thinking I might try to write an online journal—Tiny Poems: A Minimalist’s Guide to Poetry.

22: November 28th  2015

5 responses

  1. I am ignorant to the attraction of haiku and have no interest in it. I do admire the effort of anyone seeking to express themselves in various forms. Keep up the good stuff up there in the Northeast Kingdom.

  2. Then my timing couldn’t be better, as you (and I) only have 11 months left of this charade. I couldn’t hope for a better companion. I shall write 365 haiku and you will tell me, each one, how trivial they are. You can be the Sancho Panza to my Don Quixote. I honest to God couldn’t think of a better companion. For years, the man I’ve worked with loves to tell me what a piss-poor carpenter I am. I’ve needed someone like you to keep my head out of the clouds. :-)

    • Not trivial at all, my fault. I just have never understood the attraction of that particular form. And by the way, before I retired, I was trying to a good director of human resources even though most the bosses I ever worked for thought I was not good enough. Once I realized it was never going to be good enough, it got easier. Again, keep up the good work up there.

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